Creating sex that’s anticipated/scheduled can be a helpful tool to create desire. If you’re in a long-term relationship it’s easy to become sexually complacent and stagnant. Basically, life gets in the way of sex and desire. This doesn’t even begin to account for the relational dynamics that may create disconnection. ĭesire and arousal are delicate experiences – they can be negatively impacted by a variety of experiences – room temp, children, work, prep-work for bttms, fullness from dinner. I think it can actually be hotter than spontaneous sex – simply because I get to spend more time thinking about it. Don’t be too quick to discount the power of scheduled and/or anticipated sex.
This is why it can feel so hot at the beginning of a relationship – bc you are literally scheduling dates – that often lead to sex. It’s that building – followed by resolution that can be oh so satisfying. It says, “I’m thinking about you, desire you, and want to be naked with you.” That is hot!Īnticipation builds desire – plain and simple. This communication serves multiple purposes. These prompts and reminders can be sexy/hot/dirty talk throughout the day. Other times it can unfold through prompts and reminders. Sometimes scheduling sex happens on a calendar. But so can anticipated or planned sex! Hot sex isn’t the hit and run of spontaneity.
